Marié

I would presume that you've read the message conveyed by the photo above. If not, please read it before you proceed. Done? Good. Now we can begin. That is one of my favorites from F. Scott Fitzgerald, by the way. I live by it.

Yes, I am married, as the title says (in french). I honestly thought I never would.. not because I didn't want to but because I just didn't wanna settle with just whomever for the sake of getting married. I am not ashamed to say that I was born out of wedlock. So when I was young, my mother would always tell me this: "I don't want you to be like me". Basically what she meant was she didn't want me to get pregnant at a very young age - unmarried. She was carrying a child when she was 15.. That child was me. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against it. I mean if it happens, it happens but 15 was not really an ideal age for having a baby, esp. during her era when people were not as open-minded as we are now. Still, 15 is too young. That's an indisputable fact. Hence, I had this rule when I was growing up: I will not get married until I see myself being with that person for a long long time. I will not settle with just anybody who comes my way because at the end of the day, I will be the one living under the same roof with that person. I will be the one winding up miserable.. or happy. It will be me, myself, and I.. Not my friends, not my family or some outsider but ME. Don't get me wrong again, I have nothing against single mothers or fathers. I grew up living with my mom, grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was more than enough for me. I remember my friends kept on telling me: "Get married! Time is running out." I swear I've heard it a thousand times. I didn't budge. Why? Because aside from entrusting it to God, I, sans equivocation, believed in what F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote. Like I said, I live by it. I believed that nothing is ever too late. I had faith that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). I still hold on to F. Scott Fitzgerald's words until now. The journey is not over yet. I just wanted to tell you why I wasn't wobbled by what other people kept on telling me about getting married and all. Actually, I even had that notion that if I wouldn't meet anyone that I can see myself having a family with, I'd rather stay single. I swear. I seriously entertained that thought. I mean, I'd rather be with myself than be with someone whom I can't see a future with. Besides, marriage is a choice. Some don't want it while others do.. Some are in the middle of the road while some just go with the flow.. Some believe in it's sanctity whilst others believe it's just a piece of paper. If it happens, good. If it doesn't good. It's not something that one has to aspire for. True, we have goals or wishes or desires. A girl can dream, right? To have a garden wedding or get married on the beach then have that amazing honeymoon in Paris or wherever. I'm not saying you're not allowed to hope on getting married someday. All I'm saying is, it's not a target that you "have" to hit. 

It pays to take your time, ladies and gents. Don't worry about not getting married even if you're already at a certain type of age. I've seen some of my friends, classmates, cousins and other people get married and had kids but I was neither desperate nor alarmed. It's better to listen to what your heart truly wants rather than act upon something just so you can live up to the hype. Trust me, I used to be a non-believer of destiny. I've always been this "You make your own destiny" kind of girl. In the years that I have lived, which isn't that long, I know, I've realized one thing: There are just some things in life that you can't control. There is a Prime Mover. In some things, He lets us choose. Other things, He chooses for us because He knows what's best for us. I don't regret not listening to other people and their opinion about marriage and all that "Time is running out" crap. Nothing is ever too late. We can have all our dreams come true, regardless of age, if we keep on believing and if we act on what we believe in. Of course, we also have to help ourselves. If it doesn't pan out the way we wanted it to, then maybe it wasn't really for us. Move on. Don't stop. Don't ever quit on yourself.  The best is yet to come. If you don't believe in that, then what else is there to look forward to? Besides, isn't that how it's supposed to be? To get better and better, even in the grand scheme of things? No one wants to be trapped. No one wants to be stagnant. I mean look at yourself now.. Aren't you way better than the past you? Think about it.. because you are. You have definitely leveled up. If not, shouldn't you do something about it?

A friend of mine always told me: "Don't settle." It bothered the both of us as to why other people (esp. girls) were so engulfed by this age-and-marriage combo. I won't lie, I also had a cameo of that so-called "dilemma" when I was younger. The difference is that I wasn't obsessing over it like some other girls do. I mean, I don't know. As I've said, I've always believed that there is no time limit to be who or what you wanna be and the same rule applies to marriage. So chill. Do not settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you're with someone and you have that "this is not who I wanna spend the rest of my life with" feeling, then don't force it. Sometimes, we get pressured too by what other people say and the stubborn side of us comes to light -- we don't want to hear people tell us: "See? I told you from the very start!" or something to that effect. So we tend to cling on to that person whom we already know we don't deserve. Just to prove that we are right. Even if we already know that we are bound to a lifetime of melancholy if we stay with that person. I mean, you can tell. I could. Your heart misleads you sometimes but deep inside, you know what you are worthy of and what you aren't. It's best if you pray for it and ask for God's guidance. He'll show you the way. He led me to him. Aside from that, I honestly didn't even expect that I'd experience the "kneeling down on his knee and asking me to marry him" scenario. I wishfully thought about it when I was younger.. You know a girl's typical daydream. Then it happened to me. I mean, right now, I sometimes can't believe where I'm at and how magical this year has been to me. God is just THE BEST!

I got married last September 8, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. How and where my husband I met is for another cup of coffee. I already had enough caffeine for today. 

And.. Yes, I see myself being with him until forever.